My Private Library

Having a private library or study room of your own is what most of the people wanted in their houses. Yours truly happens to have one right in his apartment here :P


The private library of Abbey of Melk

Just that mine is not that spacious.

Even if I have a private library of my own, it's ashamed that I rarely used it for books reading or studying. Most of the time I spent in it is to do other chores.

The only time I'll read and study any books or notes is when my final exam is near. I can pay full concentration to what I'm reading and yet, I can't spend more than 15 minutes inside. Before I tell you how I manage to pay no more than 15 minutes of full concentration in it, let me show you how my private library looks like first.



Wahahahahahahaha!

I'll bring my notes inside when I'm doing my usual business if I can't finish them in time. That's when I can pay full attention compare to when I'm studying in a room with a laptop in front and bed on the right; or in library where my eyes will wander, looking at passer-by or searching for pretty chicks.

But in toilet, other than your notes and your poo, what you can only see in all directions are only...











Comparing the plain walls, poo and your notes, which you think that's more interesting? Of course it's your poo la, by looking at your poo, you can remember what you ate for the past few days. For sure it's your notes lah! That's why I can pay full attention on my notes.

So boys and girls, when you want to study or do revision without and distractions or disturbances, you know where to study now. Guarantee you'll get flying colors! LOL!

In case you are wondering why I call it a library since there's no other reading material around beside my notes, actually there is. The instructions and ingredients at the back of the shampoo bottles are reading material what... HAHAHAHAHAHA

Bollywood Dancing In My Room

You've seen my robot went nuts and spinning round and round, despite on how I've programmed it should be.

Here's the video again


The next day, I was having my lunch in front of my laptop. A bug,



this is it, the star for today,

landed on my desk, and it starts to...



SPIN!!!

The same way like how my robot did it!

I swear I did not played any Hindi songs when these two incidents occurred. I hope that I'm not the next one that start to spin round and round without any reasons.

The Largest Condom

Shoutout
I'm lazy to write my ITP report. Who wanna help me? :P
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Condoms come in various sizes to fulfill different size categories for men.

We have the small size for the penis the size of a Tweety Bird,

the normal size for the size of Woody Woodpecker,

and the large size for those that have the size of the Big Bird from Sesame Street.

Even the condom that is made for the Big Bird is not larger than my arm. You must be a stallion if you have a penis that is larger than my arm.

But, have you ever seen a condom that is larger than a man? Well here it is...



If you can't see the true size from the picture, here's a photo with a man standing beside it as a comparison...



Now, that's what I call XXXXXXXXXXXXXL size! lol

Let's stop these nonsense, it's actually a tanker chute. Its purpose is to fill the tanker trucks with cement from the silo above.



The truck drivers will control the length of the chute with a control so that the chute will fit nicely to the vagina hole of the tank. After that, cement will start flowing into the tank from the silo on top.

It really look like a condom, isn't it? XD

Weight-lift Skating

Shout out
My last day of industrial training! Yay!!
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This is what happens when I was left in the workshop without any technicians and wasn't assigned with any job. By the way, don't try this at home, I'm a trained and professional errr... weight-lift skater *cough*



I don't know where all the technicians went out to do their own job, leaving me behind with boredom. Thus, I end up doing silly stuffs to kill my time :P

Burning Clothes

Ever wonder how your mum hang your clothes?

I was looking at a "Ways to save Fuel" poster in front of the staff room and I saw this!



OMG! I don't even know my mum goes to and back the sun everyday just to dry my shirts!

But I guess there's no need for my mum to go to the Sun just to hang my shirts. We already got our first space flight passenger angkasawan, Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor Al Masrie bin Sheikh Mustapha to do that for us. That's what we call, "Hero". Hehe!



I'm not sure the preposition is used correctly or not, it just sound weird, don't you think so?

Chocolate Fondue for Robots

Ever wonder how chocolate fondue for robots looks like? I got the answer after watching the technicians servicing a motor in the workshop.



With screws and grease, you will get the sweet dessert for robots. I bet Bender the bad robot must love it to death if he knows how to make one.



Damn Bender.

The Ultimate Freezer

It looks like an ordinary refrigerator that you can find in any other household.



If you open the door, even the messy content isn't unusual for a shared fridge among housemates.



Until you lift up your head, and see this...



Look at the amount of ice inside the freezer. With that amount of ice, I think I can make hundreds bowl of ice kacang with it. I can barely open the cover, the maximum angle I can open is only 20 to 30 degree. The thickness of the ice made the door stuck, you can imagine how bad it is.



Since I've finished one of the two final exam paper this morning and my next paper is on this coming Saturday, I was given the task to destroy this massive amount of ice before it gets out of hand and sink a Titanic.



I start to tackle the ice with this little Excalibur Junior.



I stab, I slice, I cut with every strength I have, but it doesn't do any damage to this Everest Hill. I need to think of an idea to battle this monster. Finally, the bulb above my head shines "Ting!" An idea strikes. Off I go to find the secret weapon that can tame this ice beast, which is...




A HAIR DRYER!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!



Switching to the max speed, I start to point my gun towards the creature. Soon, ice starts melting, water starts dripping. By looking at the scenario, I can imagine what will happen to the North Pole and then the rest of the World if we still can't view the Global Warming matter seriously.



Off I go blowing my hair dryer on the ice, the amount of ice getting lesser and lesser, but it's still thick. I must get to the magic button to end all this, I can't give up yet...



Alas! The magic button which located far top right of the ice freezer. The button is frozen with the ice, which makes it difficult to push or even turn the knob. With the hot air from the hair dryer, the solid ice around it starts to melt away. With an easy push, I let the defrost function does its job.

This mission is almost the same like archeology expedition in North Pole, where we need to overcome the cold, hard and cruel ice to get to the target we're searching. The only difference between us is the expedition might find some prehistoric animals like Woolly Mammoth hidden behind the thick ice, as for me, I found...



... hotdogs instead.

Beheaded Monkeys

Happy



Mid-Autumn



Festival



Since I can't lay my teeth on the pigs, I turn my target to the monkeys that's sitting on my table for some time, head first... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

ps: No monkeys are harmed throughout this process.

Post A Letter Using Plastic Bag

My sister need to get my parent's signature to apply for PTPTN. The instruction is written that 3 copies of the form is needed, but my smart sis here sent only one copy back with her signature imprinted on the form. In fact, you can't photocopy the form which has a signature on it. Since she doesn't has a printer, I offer to help her to print out the form and pass it to her so that she can post it to my parents in Kuching.

Me: thn i help u print la
Sis: den I've to go to post office line up to buy the envelope again lar?

As you can see, both of us are in Melaka and she asked me whether to buy an envelope to post back to my parents or not. A pretty dump question, if you don't buy an envelope, then how on Earth can you post the forms back to my parents? So I reply back with sarcastic answers...

Me: no need to buy envelope, u pass to mum urself la
Sis: when?
Me: o u can use plastic bag n post to mum
Sis: u mean use pos express har?
Me: plastic bag
Sis: thn how?
Me: then paste stamp on the plastic bag
Sis: how to post use plastic bag
Me: write the address on the plastic bag, put in the mailbox la
Sis: need how many day reach their hand?
Me: wait for the postman to send
Sis: whr to buy the stamp ler?
Me: post office
Me: ngaiti... how you score so many A's in SPM?? OF COURSE USE ENVELOPE LARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Sis: y so kankor (troublesome)?
Me: abo use plastic beg meeehhhhh
Sis: u say use palstic bag ler
Sis: u sendiri say 1
Me: u ask me wan buy envelope to post o not
Me: i mar tell u use plastic beg
Sis: ooo...u cheat me har?
Me: you say leh?
Sis: duno o
Sis: use envelop ?
Sis: use pos express lar?
Me: you go ask mum can use plastic bag to post o not

*vomit blood*

4 Steps to Become a Millionaire in Malaysia

1. Get to know some minister or datuk.

2. Brother with them until they until they think that you're the same kind like them.

3. This is the most important step, 99% of the problems in Malaysia won't be solved without this. You bribe, amount differs from individuals, as long as they're happy, you'll be happy too.

4. Upon getting the contract, you'll be getting orders like tools, books, etc... You don't need to get any of these through suppliers, that's too troublesome. All you need to do is to go to the nearest Tesco or Jaya Jusco, buy the items needed and resell it back with a throat-cutting price. Example: For a RM50 of carjack, you can sell it as RM5,471. You don't need to be shy and worry, you won't get caught, you've performed step 3, remember?

If you followed the steps, then congratulations, you are a millionaire now. I don't bluff, it's proven. Don't believe me? Read here

There goes our tax payers' money... hurray!

Btw, Happy Birthday Jian!

Lecturer Asking for Kopi-O?

Today, I get to have a look at my midterm exam paper that I sit around 2 weeks ago before I need to hand it back to my lecturer, and I saw this...



Is he asking me to bribe him so I can score a better mark?

For your concern, I did not staple any banknotes when I pass up the paper, I'm honest one can?

ps: Actually it's just a typo and he cancelled it, I think...

Indian Superman

Remember the scene in Superman Returns where the bullet crushed and fell when it hits Superman's eye?



There's another guy in India who has the same power like Superman...

presenting... Captain Vijayakanth!



You've seen how powerful every blows Bruce Lee or Jet Li gives to villains in movies, wait til you see Captain Vijayakanth in action again!



After watching the clips, I keep telling myself...

I WON'T SKIP MY ANALOG CLASS AGAIN AND WILL PAY FULL ATTENTION TO WHAT THE INDIAN LECTURER TEACHES EVERYTIME. I'LL SEE MY FYP INDIAN SUPERVISOR EVERY WEEK LIKE WHAT HE HAS REQUESTED ME TO DO SO!
I WON'T SKIP MY ANALOG CLASS AGAIN AND WILL PAY FULL ATTENTION TO WHAT THE INDIAN LECTURER TEACHES EVERYTIME. I'LL SEE MY FYP INDIAN SUPERVISOR EVERY WEEK LIKE WHAT HE HAS REQUESTED ME TO DO SO!
I WON'T SKIP MY ANALOG CLASS AGAIN AND WILL PAY FULL ATTENTION TO WHAT THE INDIAN LECTURER TEACHES EVERYTIME. I'LL SEE MY FYP INDIAN SUPERVISOR EVERY WEEK LIKE WHAT HE HAS REQUESTED ME TO DO SO!
I WON'T SKIP MY ANALOG CLASS AGAIN AND WILL PAY FULL ATTENTION TO WHAT THE INDIAN LECTURER TEACHES EVERYTIME. I'LL SEE MY FYP INDIAN SUPERVISOR EVERY WEEK LIKE WHAT HE HAS REQUESTED ME TO DO SO!
I WON'T SKIP MY ANALOG CLASS AGAIN AND WILL PAY FULL ATTENTION TO WHAT THE INDIAN LECTURER TEACHES EVERYTIME. I'LL SEE MY FYP INDIAN SUPERVISOR EVERY WEEK LIKE WHAT HE HAS REQUESTED ME TO DO SO!
I WON'T SKIP MY ANALOG CLASS AGAIN AND WILL PAY FULL ATTENTION TO WHAT THE INDIAN LECTURER TEACHES EVERYTIME. I'LL SEE MY FYP INDIAN SUPERVISOR EVERY WEEK LIKE WHAT HE HAS REQUESTED ME TO DO SO!

FEAR THE POWER OF BOLLYWOOD INDIA!!!

How to Annoy a Person Through Writing Format

In the world of Internet, you can find a lot of words with different writings, formats and spellings. Most of them, I mean... ALL of them are very annoying to read as long as it’s not written like how it supposes to be. Let me show you this few examples.

THE CAPS LOCK PROBLEM
I DUNNO WHY SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO TURN ON THEIR CAPS LOCK WHEN WRITING. IT’S SOME IRRITATING THAT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU OWE THEM A HUGE SUM OF MONEY AND NOW THEY’RE ASKING THE MONEY BACK FROM YOU. I CAN ACCEPT IT IF YOU ARE HAVING CAPS LOCK BUTTON PROBLEM, BUT IF YOU DO IT ON PURPOSE, YOU’LL EITHER NOT GOING TO RECEIVE ANY REPLIES FOR ME IF I’M NOT IN A BAD MOOD THAT DAY, OR ELSE, YOU’RE ASKING FOR TROUBLES. IT’S RUDE TO TYPE EVERY EACH OF THE ALPHABETS IN CAPITAL LETTER. DON’T USE IT BECAUSE IT MAY LEAD INTO MISUNDERSTANDINGS.

tHiS I cAlL thE tUa SeI LiaP wRitIngS (aka big small letters in Hokkien)
yOu CaN fiNd tHiS kiND oF wRitIngs MosTly iN pRofIle pAgES liKe fRiENdSterS aND sOmeTiMeS eVeN bLogS. MaYbe tHey FiNd iT CreAtiVE tO wRitE iN sUcH wAyS bUt wHAt I cAn SeE iS tHaT tHoSE WriTeRs hAve a LoT oF pAtiEnce… BECAUSE I GIVE UP WRITING WITH MY FINGER PRESSING THE Shift Key ON AND OFF FOR ALMOST EVERYTHING SINGLE ALPHABET I KEY IN!!! ErRrrRR… I JuSt rEmeMbeRed tHat I’vE jUsT sAid UsiNg CaPiTaL lEtTers foR eVerY sIngLE aLphAbeTs iS rUdE. PaTieNCe… pATiEnce…

4 Th3 N3xt 1, th3 1nt3rn3t sl4ng
Wr1t1ng such 4 w4y 5h0w5 t4t U R The 1337 in th3 cy83r w0rld. ZOMGWTFBBQSAUCE w1th th15 k1nd 0f wr1tings, U c4n 4lm0st p4wn 4ny0n3 r34d1ng ur 4rt1cl3, c05 n0t 3v3ry0n3 c4n und3rst4nd w4t y0u r try1ng 2 t3ll 45 w3 sp3nd h4lf 0f 0ur t1m3 d3cod1ng w4t u r 4ctu4lly try1ng 2 t3ll… IMBA!!!11111oneoneonesatusatu一一一





And for the grand finale…





ǝlʎʇs ʎʌɹnʇ-ʎsdoʇ ǝɥʇ

¡ɐɥɐɥɐɥɐnɯ ˙˙˙ʞɔǝu ɹnoʎ ʞɐǝɹq noʎ lıʇun ɹǝƃuol ǝdʎʇ ll,ı 'ʍouʞ ǝɯ ʇǝl 'pǝuıɐɹds ʞɔǝu ɹnoʎ ƃuıʇʇǝƃ puɐ ʍou ʇsnɾ pǝuoıʇuǝɯ ı spoɥʇǝɯ ǝɥʇ ɟo ʎuɐ ƃuıɯɹoɟɹǝd ʇnoɥʇıʍ sıɥʇ ƃuıpɐǝɹ llıʇs ǝɹ,noʎ ɟı ˙ʇɥƃıǝʍ uʍo ɹnoʎ ʎq pǝɥsɐɹɔ ǝɹɐ noʎ ɹo uıɐɹq ɹnoʎ ʍolq llıʍ poolq ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʇ pıɐɹɟɐ ɯ,ı ʇnq puɐʇspɐǝɥ ɐ op oʇ sı poɥʇǝɯ ɹǝɥʇouɐ ǝɥʇ ˙ƃuıpɐǝɹ ǝnuıʇuoɔ oʇ ʇuɐʍ noʎ ɟı uʍop ǝpısdn ɹoʇıuoɯ ɹnoʎ uɹnʇ oʇ ɹǝpısuoɔ oʇ ʇuɐʍ ʇɥƃıɯ noʎ 'ssǝuızzıp ɹo sǝɥɔɐpɐǝɥ noʎ ƃuıʌıƃ sʇɹɐʇs sıɥʇ ɟı ˙ʍou ʇsnɾ pǝuoıʇuǝɯ ı ƃuıʇıɹʍ ɟo puıʞ ǝǝɹɥʇ ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ ƃuoɯɐ ʞsɐʇ ƃuıƃuǝllɐɥɔ ʇsoɯ ǝɥʇ sı ʞɔǝu ɹnoʎ ƃuıuıɐɹds ʇnoɥʇıʍ uʍop ǝpısdn spɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ƃuıpɐǝɹ

Oh btw, for the last part, you need to start reading from the bottom to top, right to left :)

How Ice Chrysanthemum Tea Is Made

How Ice Chrysanthemum tea is made? It’s simple actually.

1. Find a nearest toilet bowl.
2. Connect the pipe from the toilet bowl to a container.
3. Put some ice.
4. Wait.



Soon, you'll get a freshly made ice cool tea. See, I told you, it's as simple as ABC. Enjoy your drink under the hot sun!

Advantage of CPC Ads

If you have a friend who is a blogger with CPC ads on his blog, this is what you can do:

(FB = Friend Blogger, not Fucked Bitch ok?)

FB: You still owe me RM3 for the chicken rice I tapao for you that day.
Me: Oh ya, I have no money now, I pay through a 7 days installment can or not?
FB: Huh?
Me: You serve CPC ads right? Don’t worry, I’ll click your ads everyday, so by the 7th day, you should get back your money with some interests.
FB: ...

The New 7 Wonders of the World

The result of the new Seven Wonders of the World has been announced in Lisbon, Portugal yesterday. The winners are…


Chichén Itzá, Mexico


The Roman Colloseum, Italy


Christ Redeemer, Brazil


The Great Wall, China


Petra, Jordan


Machu Picchu, Peru


The Taj Mahal, India

You are wrong if you think that I'm just going to post the results here, I'm going to show you behind the scene after the result is being announced, exclusively at sleepyhao.blogspot.com


Congratulation Jesus


Ben still can't accept the defeat


The Statue of Liberty regrets on something...


Qin Shi Huang has more confidence in his theory

And I heard that Pharaoh Khufu is discussing with some contractors to build a bigger Pyramid in Giza to win the next competition...

Horse + Zebra = Zebrula

BERLIN (AFP) - A zebrula -- a cross between a horse and a zebra -- has drawn curious onlookers to a zoo in Germany because of its unusual coat. While zebrulas have been in existence since the 19th century, this one is particularly unique: its coat is sharply divided between horse and zebra, says Safaripark, a zoo near northern Guetersloh.
The animal, which is slightly more than a year old and is named Eclyse, has a zebra head, while the first half of the rest of its body is white and the second half is zebra-colored.
It arrived at the zoo three weeks ago from Italy.

A zebrula? How do they get the name for this creature which is a cross between a horse and a zebra and there’s no words inside the name that resembles the horse? It should be something like how we call a guy Chindian where one of his parents is a Chinese while the other one is an Indian.



To stand up a justice for the horse *cough* I need to think of a new name for the hybrid. Giving a name isn’t as easy as you think. According to Chinese’s belief, one's name that contains words that give good meanings like prosperity, success and so on, the owner will lead a good life just like what his name represent.

Back to name giving for the hybrid. A horse and a zebra… hmmm…

Zese? Zebra + horse

No. No good words inside.

How bout “horsra”? Horse + zebra

Not good either.

Ahah! I got it.

Hobra!! Horse + zebra

Ho means good in Hokkien, and bra means bra la! Duh.
Which means “good bra”, not bad right?



Ok, enough of the craps. *Off the bed*

Something's Wrong with this SC2 Artwork

I was browsing through the artwork section in Starcraft 2 official webpage and I came across this picture.

Tell me what’s wrong in the picture below



Still can’t notice it? Nevermind, I narrow down the search for you.



Still can’t figure it? C’mon, use some of your imaginations.

Giving up? Alright, scroll down for the answer

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THAT FREAKING PENIS-LOOKS-A-LIKE ROCK IN THE BACKGROUND IS HAVING AN ERECTION!!! ZOMGWTFBBQSAUCE!!!!!

Bull-leh!

Final exam is coming around the corner. I just can’t concentrate when studying and I’m struggling from falling asleep while reading those boring notes. To make me stay awake while reading those bloody boring theories and formulas, I went down to the mini market and grab a bottle of Red Bull to drink.



Hoping that I have the power of the bull to keep me going on, reading the notes even if I don’t really have any ideas what the notes is talking about (blame the lecturer for providing such a lousy notes and she don’t even know how to teach in class). At least, I actually read something rather than falling asleep so when I sit for the exam, I can still bullshit in my paper with the bull power I gained during my revisions and hopefully I can get some sympathy marks from the lecturer. Eh wait, later the lecturer gives me bullshit marks for those bullshits in the paper. If that bullleh happen, I mar hailat!

Having the thoughts that Red Bull will give me bullshit in my paper which will result with a bullshit marks, right after I finished the bull’s pee, I went back to the mini market and grab a can of 100plus.